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"The most wasted of all days is one without laughter." -
E.E. Cummings






The Man Of The House…

September 15th, 2011

 

 

The Man of the House:

A husband had just finished a book titled, “Man of the House.” He stormed into the house and walked right up to his wife.

Pointing a finger in her face, he said, “From now on, I want you to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is law! I want you to prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished eating my meal, I expect a sumptuous dessert afterward. Then, after dinner, you’re going to draw me a bath so I can relax. And, when I’m finished with my bath, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?”

“The funeral director?” said his wife.

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The “Real” Head Of The Household…

September 10th, 2011

 

Head of Household:

When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise, God appeared and said, “I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who were true heads of their household and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. I want all the women to report to St Peter.”

Soon, the women were gone and there were two lines of men. The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 1000 miles long, and in the line of men who truly were heads of their household, there was only one man.

God said, “You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you to be the head of your household. You have been disobedient and not fulfilled your purpose. I told you to be the spiritual leader in your family. Of all of you, only one obeyed.

Learn from him. Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?”

The man replied, “I don’t know, my wife told me to stand here.”

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“The Midlife Gals”… Run For Your Lives!

August 10th, 2011

 

Her Diary:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to
meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends
all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit
late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn’t flowing, so I
suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk.

He agreed, but he didn’t say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said,
‘Nothing.’ I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said
he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry
about it.

On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and
kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior. I don’t know why he didn’t
say, ‘I love you, too.’ When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him
completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just
sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and
absent.

Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About
15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was
distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep – I
cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are
with someone else. My life is a disaster.

His Diary:

Boat wouldn’t start, can’t figure out why.

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Men vs Women…

April 27th, 2011

 

Maturity:

Women: They mature much faster than men. Most 17-year old females can function as adults.

Men: Most 17-year old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work out.

Mirrors:

Men: Men are vain and will check themselves out in a mirror.

Women: They are ridiculous; they will check out their reflections in any shiny surface: mirrors, spoons, store windows, bald guys’ heads.

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Some Of Us Are Complicated… Some, Not So Much

April 21st, 2011

 

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The Difference Between Men And Women…

April 8th, 2011

http://todayilearned.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/how-women-and-men-see-colors.jpg

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Man, Once Again, Making A Fool Of Himself…

April 6th, 2011

 

 

You women can laugh at these kinds of things but remember… this is all your fault.

Watch This Video

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Opposites Do Attract…

January 24th, 2011

http://spaceghetto.org/images/mmmvodka.gif

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Men Multitasking…

October 18th, 2010

Women have always been known for multitasking capabilities. Many of us men have seen our wives talking on the phone, preparing dinner, and using a computer all at the same time.

Well, here is an example of how men can do some things simultaneously that women cannot even attempt.

Watch This Video

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Women vs Men…

September 1st, 2010

A man said to his wife one day, “I don’t know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.”

The wife responded, “Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me. God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!”

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